I spent the first half of April by my wife’s side while she was in the hospital recovering from a burst appendix while pregnant (you can learn more about that insane experience here). During this time, I watched one movie. I viewed the remaining 12 films within a 14 day period. When I said in my March report that I’d probably watch fewer films in April, I had no idea how right I was. Most of the films listed I’d been wanting to see for some time. Some of them exceeded my expectations while a couple were less than satisfactory. So, grab your favorite gun, sword, or wood chipper and dive in to the April 2012 edition of the Movie Report.

Battle Royale (2012)

Rating: 4.5

Whether or not Battle Royale was the influence for The Hunger Games is debatable, but what I can tell you for certain is that Battle Royale is a no holds barred film of a group of school children killing each other on an island. It’s graphic, it’s intense, and it’s fun (if you share my dark sense of humor, that is). Battle Royale was originally released in Japan in 2000, however, for various reasons, it wasn’t available to the American masses until this year.

God Bless America (2012)

Rating: 4.5

Writer/director Bobcat Goldthwait returns with God Bless America, a powerful social commentary on the “Oh no, you didn’t say that!” generation. Frank (Joel Murray) and his unlikely high schooler cohort Roxy (excellently played by Tara Lynne Barr) go on a killing spree after getting fed up with the soulless society they see around them everyday. You can say the film is preachy or that it lacks a logical solution to the problems the protagonists feel so strongly about, but if you’re willing to go on the ride Goldthwait has presented here, you’ll come out feeling better knowing that you’re not the only one fed up with American culture.There’s a lot of Frank in me, and if there’s not a bit of Frank in you, I doubt we’ll be friends.

Crazy, Stupid, Love (2011)

Rating: 4

This was the only film I watched from start to finish while staying with my wife during her two weeks in the hospital. We had both seen it before, but it’s a good rom-com with a great cast and fun to revisit.

Fright Night (2011)

Rating: 4.5

We revisited this one this month so my brother-in-law could see it. I still stand by it as a very good remake of a classic vampire film.

Hesher (2011)

Rating: 5

When I saw the first trailer for Hesher and saw that Joseph Gordon-Levitt was playing the titular role, it excited me, then the middling to negative reviews came in. I had almost lost hope, but my love of Gordon-Levitt’s past performances and Vince Mancini’s glowingly positive review on FilmDrunk.com kept me hopeful. Hesher is a film for a specific type of person, a person with a dark sense of humor who enjoyed watching their burnt out metalhead classmates do the unthinkable without giving it a second thought. There is a part of me that longs to be more like Hesher, but there’s another part that wants to keep a safe distance. Don’t think too hard about the film, just enjoy it, the thinking and deconstructing can come later.

Moneyball (2011)

Rating: 4

I don’t watch baseball, but I like films about underdogs, and Moneyball is probably the best film about and underdog in baseball that I’ll ever watch. The film runs long at 133 minutes, but Brad Pitt and Jonah Hill do their best to make keep things interesting as they introduce a new way of thinking into a sport that’s been around since the 19th century.

The Perfect Host (2011)

Rating: 4.5

If you ever watched an episode of Frasier (1993-2004) and though that David Hyde Pierce guy was gonna snap one day, well, you were right. Pierce isn’t my first thought for a villain, but his turn in The Perfect Host is one of the more impressive psychotic villains captured on-screen. While you’re marveling at Pierces performance, the film twists and turns so much that you won’t know what’s really going on until the credits role.

Super 8 (2011)

Rating: 2

J.J. Abrams homage to Stephen Speilberg’s 1980s film for kids starring kids is nothing more than that. Nothing new happens, there’s a crash, something escapes, the government is bad, blah, blah, blah. On top of that, they barely show the monster, which is just a cop-out.

Troll Hunter (2011)

Rating: 5

Troll Hunter is the best found footage film I’ve ever seen. Hoping for an interview, three college students follow a supposed bear poacher across land and sea. What they discover is beyond their imaginations and nightmares. Unlike Super 8, Troll Hunter knows how to show you the monster and keep you interested up to the last frame.

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2011)

Rating: 5

A group of college kids spend a weekend in the woods. Little do they know, a couple of rednecks are also staying in a cabin near their camp, however, instead of the rednecks killing the kids, they try to save them from themselves. When done right, horror comedies are some of my favorite films, Shaun of the Dead (2004) and Evil Dead II (1987) come to mind, and Tucker and Dale vs. Evil has earned a place right next to these classic films. I loved Alan Tudyk (Tucker) in the UK version of Death at a Funeral (2007) and Tyler Labine (Dale) has been a favorite since I first saw him in the underrated TV series, Reaper (2007-2009). There’s never a dull moment when these two are onscreen.

The Kid Stays in the Picture (2002)

Rating: 3.5

This documentary is 93 minutes of producer Robert Evans telling his life story as we see images and few short video clips from his past. While interesting, this story of the man behind many Hollywood hits, like Rosemary’s Baby (1968), Chinatown (1974), and The Godfather (1972), has too many dry moments and ends up not as good as it could have been.

Clerks. (1994)

Rating: 4.5

Introducing someone to the world of Kevin Smith’s films is always a joyous and envious process. Knowing how I felt the first time I saw Jay and Silent Bob outside the Quickstop and listening Randall’s irreverent comments about customs and life in general is something I’m glad to have a hand in passing on to a younger generation.

The Birds (1963)

Rating: 3

Of the Hitchcock films I’ve seen, The Birds is the most boring. After Psycho (1960) Hitchcock had nowhere to go but down, but I wish he’d not dove so low. Mel Brooks’s parody of The Birds in High Anxiety (1977) is much more satisfying, watch it instead.

Rating: 3

$9,500 seems like a lot of money, unless you’re making a movie with it, which is exactly what one-man film crew Pascal Santschi did with his début effort, The Arriviste; a black comedy about a guy whose brother causes him more trouble in death than he ever did in life.

The film’s protagonist, Nick Laumer (Eamon Speer), is content to live his life worry free, finishing out the last few days of his probation, that is, until he gets a letter from his brother, William, and a visit from a man posing as a detective looking for Nick’s delinquent brother.

Things get complicated fast when a nurse of questionable character, a real detective chasing after a book deal, a shady life insurance rep, a Jesus looking hobo named Joseph (Raymond Turturro), and William’s severed hand all come into play. It’s not easy to keep this complicated plot straight, but it doesn’t really matter as the real joy in this classic crime-gone-wrong story is watching it take most of its characters down with it.

The Arriviste has its share of problems, but when you consider what went into the production, they seem easier to forgive. Santschi not only performed every task behind the camera, but he did it shooting guerilla style on the streets and in the subways of New York all while shooting on 35mm film. That alone is a task worthy of note.

Apart from Raymond Turturro, the cast is unknowns with few credits to their name. This is noticeable in many of the performances, but there’s no one here who should hang up their acting hat. The dialogue is all ADR but the dubbing is not as annoying as it is in other low-budget features I’ve seen.

The score, also composed by Santschi, plays in an off-beat jazzy style that works with as many of the film’s scenes as it doesn’t, which runs the risk of taking the viewer out of the scene instead of immersing them in it.

As with many films of this sort, it’s easy to criticize it for its shortcomings, but when put into perspective, it’s clear that there is a real artist at work that is making the most of his budget and his surroundings.

Director: Pascal Santschi

Writer: Pascal Santschi

Cast: Eamon Speer, Mark Fernandes, Gary Devirgilio

Runtime: 93 minutes

Country: USA

This review originally appeared at Flickfeast.co.uk and is reprinted here with their kind permission.

I watched 24 films in March (I have a feeling this number will drop substantially during the remainder of spring and summer). I caught up on a few films I missed in 2011 as well as a spattering of classic (and no-so-classic) films. Of all the films on this list my most surprising find was Suck, a little independent film from Canada about vampires (I know, I know, vampires are played out just like zombies, but give it a chance). So, grab a box of Dorito shelled tacos and dig in.

The Sleeper (2012)

Rating: 2

Justin Russel and company set out to make a shitty horror film from 1981, and they succeeded, maybe too well. This film is best watched with a room full of friends with beers in hand. It’s one of many films featuring a killer of women (and the occasional man) who calls and taunts the victims. Why does the killer in The Sleeper do this? Your guess is as good as mine. The Sleeper is available as a VHS/DVD combo, I watched the VHS on an HDTV, it might have been more effective on a tube TV, but it still looked like a crappy VHS tape, so I don’t think it made much difference. The filmmakers did a good job with the look of the film, I just wish it was more fun, like, say, Blood Junkie.

The Descendants (2011)

Rating: 2

George Clooney’s cheating wife is in a coma, his youngest daughter is acting out as a result, his older cute daughter has been acting out for a while, and to make matters worse, he’s in the middle of a land deal in his homeland of Hawaii. The Descendants comes from a long list of drama/comedies from writer/director Alexander Payne, most of which I’ve enjoyed (Sideways remains my favorite), but The Descendants falters from a excess of dead space. The good and great moments are there, but there’s not enough of them, however, Payne’s previous films have grown on me with subsequent viewings, perhaps I need to give The Descendants a second viewing.

Dream House (2011)

Rating: 2

I’m all for haunted house movies, but so few are good. Films such as The Shining and The Legend of Hell House set the bar high, so high in fact that films like Dream House fall short, very short. Danial Craig moves into a new house with his family. Everything seems great, but then things start going bump in the night (and late afternoon). With the help of Naomi Watts and her daughter, Craig learns that things are far worse then he imagined. If you watched the trailer you already know the big twist. I hate movie trailers, but that is a discussion for another time (that’s actually another thing that The Shining does better than any other movie). It’s a good twist, but the movie doesn’t have much else to offer.

Fright Night (2011)

Rating: 4.5

I’ll catch heat for this, but I liked this version of Fright Night better than the 1985 classic (see, I called the original a classic, so back off). Both films are worth watching, the 2011 film has a slightly better cast and a screenplay every bit as solid as the original. How can you not love a film that has vampire McLovin and the best Dr. Who ever (yeah, I said it) as Peter Vincent!

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)

Rating: 5

After seeing it in the theater, I had been counting the days until this film was released on Blu-ray. I picked it up a little after midnight, which I seldom do. I showed it to my brother-in-law, Nate, and my friend, Ben, they both enjoyed the film and Nate, having seen the Swedish version, agrees with my wife and I that the American version is better. As for the movie, you can read more about it in my January 2011 movie report.

The Greatest Movie Ever Sold (2011)

Rating: 4

Possibly the most meta thing in existence, The Greatest Movie Ever Sold dives into the world of product placement while being funded the very topic it seeks to exploit. The best parts are the commercials within the film. It’s a great idea for a documentary and while it has it’s lackluster moments, it’s certainly worth a look.

Hugo (2011)

Rating: 5

I wrote about Hugo in last month’s movie report, so I won’t repeat myself here, except to say that you should see this movie. This months viewing of the film was for my brother-in-law and he enjoyed it a great deal.

Immortals (2011)

Rating: 4

Tarsem Singh (whose name changing in length from movie to movie) blew me away with his 2006 film, The Fall, (which Tarsem claims features no special effects). He has returned here with an effects heavy film that is as visually stunning as his previous films, but takes a hit where the story is concerned. The look and feel of the film is the selling point and it’s what Tarsem is known for. Go into it expecting an okay story and sit back and enjoy the feast for your eyes.

Midnight in Paris (2011)

Rating: 5

I finally sat my brother-in-law down to watch what I consider to be one of Woody Allen’s best films. As an avid Woody Allen fan he really enjoyed this love letter to nostalgia and Paris in the 1920s. A knowledge of writers, painters and other artists from this era is beneficial when approaching Midnight in Paris.

The Sitter (2011)

Rating: 3.5

With Pineapple Express a hit and Your Highness a dud, director David Gordon Green hits middle ground with The Sitter. Jonah Hill gets suckered into babysitting three disfunctional kids. If you’ve seen any of the babysitter movies from the 1980s you know just how wrong things can go in this type of movie. Run-ins with cops, drug dealers, and gangsters are just a few of the obstacles facing our faithful sitter. It’s a mostly good film with many funny moments, and Green has done a good job of casting child actors who can act, but like a true mix of his previous two efforts, The Sitter is littered with so-so moments.

Tabloid (2011)

Rating: 4

This is another one I watched for the benefit of my brother-in-law (I also watched it in February). The story of an ex-beauty queen kidnapping her Mormon love interest and tying him to a bed and having sex with him repeatedly, is interesting enough, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg in this story of love, lust, and lunacy.

Young Adult (2011)

Rating: 5

Young Adult is a film that doesn’t play into convention. The trailer didn’t impress me, but Charlize Theron as the lead and Diablo Cody as the writer intrigued me, however, it was Patton Oswalt as co-star and Jason Reitman as director that won me over. I had heard mixed things about the film, but upon viewing Young Adult, I loved it, that is, until the end of the third act. I thought it had gone off the rails at the end. After some reflection (and reading a couple interviews with Reitman), it all became clear. Watch this film, love the crap out of Oswalt’s character, then come back and we’ll discuss the ending.

The Social Network (2010)

Rating: 5

I’ll watch a film like The Social Network anytime, anywhere. This time I watched it on one of the movie channels, although we have the Blu-ray in our collection, but it was on and it saved me a trip to the movie shelf. If you’ve not seen it, do yourself a favor and see it as soon as possible. Yes, I thought a movie about Facebook would be boring too, but I was wrong, dead wrong. Here’s my guarantee, if you watch The Social Network and don’t like it, I’ll personally come to your house and kick you in the balls. no charge.

Suck (2009)

Rating: 4.5

Suck is an impressive horror/comedy by a group of unknowns from Canada who managed to get a cast of great musicians (Alice Cooper, Henry Rollins, Iggy Pop, and Moby, to name a few) as well as veteran actor Malcolm McDowell. I caught a few minutes of this on Showtime and the moment I saw Moby with a vampire I was sold. I recorded the next showing and was treated to a straight-to-video vampire horror/comedy that is better than most vampire films that make it to the big screen. The story centers around a band struggling to make it big, meanwhile their smoking-hot female bassist meets with a creepy looking vampire. It’s hard to tell if the band or the vampires are doing the most sucking, but the film is a real treat.

House of 1000 Corpses (2003)

Rating: 4

I’ve been a fan of Rob Zombie’s work since I first heard Thunderkiss ’69 on MTV’s Headbanger Ball in 1993, and while I haven’t enjoyed everything he’s done since (musically or in film) I stand behind Zombie’s feature film debut as an enjoyable feast with a few flaws, the biggest of which is the teens who are captured by the Firefly family.

Varsity Blues (1999)

Rating: 3.5

For years my wife has hounded me about watching this film. I had no reason for putting it off, but Varsity Blues somehow managed to slip through the cracks until this month when we tracked it down on Amazon. I don’t give a shit about football, and the film’s message has been played out in the sports movie genre, but it was the small moments happening off field that I enjoyed most. Tweeter and Billy Bob were favorites, as was the Hot for Teacher scene. I may not share my wife’s affection for Varsity Blues, but we agree that Jon Voight should have been nominated for a Oscar for his role as the relentless Coach Kilmer.

Uncle Buck (1989)

Rating: 4.5

I’m a sucker for John Candy and John Hughes. So, it’s no wonder that I enjoy the crap out of Uncle Buck, which features Candy in one of his best performances as the well meaning uncle who will go to great lengths to protect his nieces and nephew, even when they’d rather he not.

Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982)

Rating: 3

This coming of age film launched many careers (and I’m pretty sure that Jeff Spicoli was a precursor to Bill & Ted), and while the film feels dated and many of the scenes lack a climax, it’s still a treat to see actors we’ve come to love (or loath) so early in their careers (the topless scenes with Jennifer Jason Leigh and Phoebe Cates are also a nice touch).

Alien (1979)

Rating: 4.5

With the release of Prometheus right around the corner, I thought it was a good idea to revisit Alien, so when Kyle suggested watching it to other night, I was all for it. I could go on about all the great things in this movie, but let’s get to the point and say that most of it is great and the few things that aren’t, really don’t take away from the film as a whole.

Hang ‘Em High (1968)

Rating: 3.5

I had high hopes for the film heralded as Clint Eastwood’s triumphant return to Hollywood after completing Sergio Leone’s Man with No Name spaghetti western trilogy. Eastwood plays a man wrongly accused, and hanged, for a crime he didn’t commit. As an ex-lawman, Eastwood gets re-enstated as a marshall and sets out to bring his acusers to justice. For the first hour my hopes were met with a solid western, full of interesting characters and great dialogue, but the bottom drops out when it comes to a hanging scene about halfway through the film. This, and a spontaneous love affair between Eastwood and the beautiful Inger Stevens, slow the pacing to a crawl. By the time the pacing picked up in the last act, I just wanted to film to end.

A Fistful of Dollars (1964)

Rating: 4.5

It’s Yojimbo in the wild west of Spain. It really is, Yojimbo director, Akira Kurosawa, actually sued the producers of A Fistful of Dollars over it. Fortunately, a deal was worked out and we have this great spaghetti western from Sergio Leone starring Clint Eastwood as a man who wonders into a rough town and works the two battling factions against each other for his own reasons.

Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)

Rating: 3.5

There’s no question that Breakfast at Tiffany’s is a classic in the realm of romantic comedies. Audrey Hepburn is stunning as the flighty and beautiful Holly Golightly, who lives with her cat (named Cat) in Manhattan. The story is simple, but appears complex on screen. All you need to know is: guy falls for girl, guys learns girl is neurotic (and that’s putting it mildly), and (for reasons beyond my comprehension) guy still wants girl. This is what drives the movie and it’s what drove me crazy while watching it.

Psycho (1960)

Rating: 5

I think a lot of people feel that this Alfred Hitchcock classic is overrated. I don’t share that sentiment, but I’m surprised by the amount of chessiness that’s contained within Psycho without making it any less enjoyable.

Saboteur (1942)

Rating: 3.5

It’s kinda cool, but not Hitchcock’s best. A lot of talk about being loyal to your country. The blind guy is awesome. [editor's note: I was going to write a capsule review, but I think these notes do it justice.]

In February I managed to hit my goal of watching one movie for each day of the month—I actually watch them in bulk on my days off, but let’s not labor ourselves with technicalities. I viewed several good and great films in February, with a few sour grapes in there—a few of which I think turned to vinegar—but, hopefully you’ll find a few films to add to your ‘to see’ list. In non-movie-related news, we learned that our first-born will be a girl. I’m already thinking about how great it will be to sit next to her as she watches Citizen Kane (1941) and Eraserhead (1977) for the first time. Of course, I’ll be showing her a lot of Pixar movies first, which isn’t bad either.

Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie (2012)

Rating: 4/5

Just like their TV series, Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!, Tim and Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie is full of hits and misses, but mostly hits. Unlike the series, the movie has a plot line and doesn’t feature any characters from the series—except Tim and Eric. John C. Reilly appears as a perpetually ill man-child who has spent most of his life in a dilapidated mall that Tim and Eric take on from Will Ferrell in trying to renovate it and pay back their billion dollar debt to Robert Loggia, who wants them dead for squandering his billion dollars on a failed movie venture. Along the way are appearances from Jeff Goldblum, Will Forte, Zach Galifianakis, and Ray Wise. RAY WISE?! Yes, Ray Wise! If you’re not jumping up and down with joy over Ray Wise you haven’t seen Twin Peaks—which you should do immediately.

Anonymous (2011)

Rating: 3/5

Anonymous plays on the idea that William Shakespeare was an opportunistic fraud who did not write any of the plays accredited to his name. I know little about British history, and even less about Shakespeare (I know, shame on me), so I cannot comment on this theory, however, from a film standpoint, Anonymous is difficult to watch as it jumps about incessantly in its timeline like a child with ADD. On the up side, it’s well acted and the costumes and cinematography are solid.

Buck (2011)

Rating: 5/5

I cried like a bitch. I was going to write something like, If you’re human you’ll cry, if you’re an animal lover, you’ll cry harder, but the simple truth is that I cried like a bitch. Buck is the story of Buck Brannaman, you could call him a horse whisperer, but Buck’s gift goes beyond horses, as does his story. A classic troubled childhood—that is no less heartbreaking—eventually leads Buck to the world of horse training. As impressive as Buck’s way with horses, is Buck’s way with people as he explains that a horses behavior relates to the owner’s behavior. As an expecting father, Buck’s relationship with his teenage daughter, who accompanies him on the road, was also inspiring to me on a personal level.

Drive (2011)

Rating: 5/5

Go into Drive with no expectations and you will come out of it appreciating its greatness in all aspects of filmmaking. What hurts Drive is audience expectations. Drive is a relentless balls-to-the-wall film wrapped inside a slow burning crime/drama/thriller. The film—set in modern-day—has a touch of the 1980s pulsing through its veins, complete with synth-score and scorpion bomber jacket. Ryan Gosling delivers a subtle yet powerful performance as the Driver, a man who drives for movies by day and for criminals by night. Those used to seeing Albert Brooks in comedy roles should get ready for a drama performance that both impresses and terrifies. This was my second viewing of Drive—the film had been on my mind since I first saw it in the theater in September—and this viewing left me anxious for my next visit with the Driver. Many will write off Drive as being too slow and lacking action, but those people went into Drive with expectations instead of a clean slate.

The Green Hornet (2011)

Rating: 3/5

I expected more from The Green Hornet. It boasts a cast, writers, and director that have all wowed me in the past, but have also been mostly underwhelming lately. It’s no secret that I’m not a big fan of superhero movies, but some people are better at them than others. Star and co-writer Seth Rogen and director Michel Gondry can fake their way through the superhero genre, but their weaknesses still show through the cracks. Seth Rogen plays the same guy he always plays, but it’s not enough here. Jay Chou is the best thing about the movie, and he’s the sidekick. There’s also a half-assed attempt to make Christoph Waltz play a comedic villain, à la Geoffrey Rush in Mystery Men (1999), but this too falls short.

Hobo with a Shotgun (2011)

Rating: 4/5

Magnet Releasing is on a role as they seem to only release good and great films. In keeping with this tradition, Hobo with a Shotgun is a treat, it has the feel of everything that is right about Troma and everything that is wrong with society. I’m a little surprised Troma didn’t pick this up before Magnet, as it fits perfectly within their ideas of great film-making—excessive gore, needless violence, and the always welcome nudity. While I have no complaints about Rutger Hauer as the titular Hobo, a part of me thinks Gary Busey could have nailed that part like no other, delivering great lines like, “Get your hands off me, demons! You’re crushing my smokes!”

Hugo (2011)

Rating: 5/5

Director Martin Scorsese delivers another great film with Hugo, a film about film that will appeal to cinephiles both young and old. Great performances from Ben Kingsley, Sacha Baron Cohen, Chloë Grace Moretz, and Asa Butterfield add to the charm of Hugo. The cinematography and coloration of the film add to the enchanted world created by Scorsese and his team. It is my hope that Hugo will increase awareness and interest in older films, especially those of Georges Méliès.

The Rum Diary (2011)

Rating: 3/5

Based on an early novel by the late Hunter S. Thompson that wasn’t published until 1998, The Run Diary struggles be as good as its source material, which isn’t great either. Much like journalist Paul Kemp (Johnny Depp), Thompson had yet to find his voice—although foreshadowing of Thompson’s gonzo writing style is felt throughout the book. Paul Kemp is a journalist from the States who goes to work for a fledgling paper in Puerto Rico. While there he gets pulled into misadventures with his journalist buddies and a woman visiting the island. Like Raul Duke in Thompson’s masterpiece, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Paul Kemp is part fiction and part autobiographic, however, unlike Duke, Kemp is more fiction than fact. Depp’s take on Kemp isn’t as Thompson-esque as his portrayal of Duke in the 1998 film adaptation of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, but, much like the novel, there are hints of Thompson in the character Kemp. Making a great film out of a decent novel is no easy task, the result is a film that lumbers without much direction and leaves out—or dramaticly shortens—the best moments from the book.

Your Highness (2011)

Rating: 2/5

The minds behind Eastbound & Down and Pineapple Express (2008), return with Your Highness, a medieval/fantasy comedy filled with knights, wizards, and sexy maidens. If this sounds like a great combination, you’re in the same place I was before watching this film. I didn’t want to believe the reviews, surely the guys who gave us Kenny Powers could pull off a Monty Python-esque visit to the realm of knights and wizards, right? Wrong. Danny McBride and James Franco struggle with terrible accents while Justin Theroux dishes out his best impression of Mike Myers and Steve Coogan as the evil wizard, Leezar. The best thing about the movie is Natalie Portman as the vengeful and sexy Isabel. I think the biggest problem with Your Highness is that the Eastbound & Down style of comedy doesn’t lend itself to the medieval/fantasy world. They should have taken a lesson from the Pythons and adapted their comedy to fit the setting.

Blood Junkie (2010)

Rating: 5/5

Blood Junkie blew me away. When a friend hosted a viewing of the film, I expected a trashy exploitation horror film—especially once I learned Troma distributed it—what I didn’t expect was a great 1980s horror-comedy with hilarious dialog and amazingly cheesy acting that defies explanation—especially on a $7,000 budget. Imagine Trey Parker & Matt Stone from South Park paired with Thomas Lennon & Robert Ben Garant from Reno 911! and you’ll be on the right track. Blood Junkie isn’t a film that’s so bad it’s good, it’s so good that it’s great! If you’ve seen Black Dynamite (2009) you have an idea of what I’m talking about. Everything about Blood Junkie is great, from its period piece costuming to the 80s synth-score accompanying the action.

Cyrus (2010)

Rating: 2/5

I really wanted to like Cyrus. John C. Reilly plays John, a divorcé of seven years, and Jonah Hill plays the 22 yr-old Cyrus who refuses to let any man close to his mom Molly (Marisa Tomei). It is soon clear that John and Cyrus are at odds with each other as they both seek Molly’s affection. This may sound like a recipe for greatness, but as the 60 minute mark approached, I was still waiting for things to escalate to where they should have been around the 30 minute mark. When things finally get going there’s not enough time left to explore this section of the story. As a result, the third act feels rushed and things wrap up way to quick. Shot like an episode of The Office—using the faux-documentary style handheld camera that is apparently set on constant-pointless-zoom mode—only makes matters worse. This style works for shows like The Office, but it doesn’t work here.

Inception (2010)

Rating: 5/5

I don’t know how I let my brother-in-law go this long without seeing Inception—this was a terrible oversight on my part—but the problem has now been remedied. Each viewing of Inception brings more answers and more questions. The deeper I dig into Inception, the closer I come to slipping into limbo.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2009)

Rating: 4/5

I’m going to catch hell for this, but David Fincher’s 2011 American version of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is better than Niels Arden Oplev’s 2009 Swedish version. There, I said it. I like the Oplev’s version, but Fincher’s is more appealing in style, score, and acting. Noomi Rapace is good as Lisbeth in Oplev’s film, but her take on the character is more subdued and masculine and not believable as being insane. In Fincher’s version, Rooney Mara is more feminine, sexual, and there is no doubt in my mind that her version of Lisbeth is insane—in the best way possible of course. Regardless, see both versions of the film and let me know what you think.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters (2007)

Rating: 4/5

It’s difficult to make a 15-minute cartoon stretch into a feature-length movie without losing momentum. That’s exactly what happens with the ATHF movie, however, as a fan of the series, I’m willing to overlook a few shortcomings to enjoy 80+ minutes of my favorite fast food detectives. The intro is a work of genius which should be played before every movie in every theater.

The Devil Wears Prada (2006)

Rating: 4/5

I caught this on ABC while visiting my in-laws. Apart from the annoying commercial breaks, The Devil Wears Prada was still as enjoyable as it was when I first saw it a couple of years ago. Based on the autobiographic book of the same name, The Devil Wears Prada effectively tells the story of a woman trying to make it in the fashion world as the assistant to a relentless magazine editor. Great performances by Meryl Streep and Stanley Tucci add to the enjoyment.

Metal: A Headbanger’s Journey (2005)

Rating: 4/5

I happened upon this documentary on VH1. There’s little new here for a seasoned metal fan, but the down to Earth headbanger in question, Sam Dunn, gets to the heart of metal culture and in doing so, helped remind me why I became a headbanger.

If you’d like to know about the Norwegian Black Metal scene briefly discussed in the film (and the church burnings associated with it) check out the documentary, Until the Light Takes Us (2009). You can also read my review of the film and my interview with the directors.

Thirteen (2003)

Rating: 1/5

This movie—and it’s handheld camera work—is exactly what I imagine it’s like having a rebellious 13-year-old daughter, annoying as fuck.

The Rules of Attraction (2002)

Rating: 5/5

The Rules of Attraction is the right way to make a movie about teens experimenting with drugs, sex, and each other. Based on the novel by Bret Easton Ellis, director/screenwriter Roger Avery brings Ellis’s novel to life in a way seldom seen in films. I feel like I should say more, but just trust me on this one.

Bottle Rocket (1996)

Rating: 3/5

I’ve seen most of Wes Anderson’s films and have enjoyed them all, but Bottle Rocket comes in at the bottom of the pile, which I suppose makes sense as it’s Anderson’s début as a writer/director of a feature film. Anderson’s style and approach—which would be perfected in his sophomore effort, Rushmore (1998)—is evident here, but still uneven. I’ve heard fans of Anderson’s films say Bottle Rocket is a terrible film, which makes me wonder how it ended up in the Criterion Collection. I’m not sure who is off their rocker here, but I fell in the middle ground with this tale of three small time crooks who are too busy falling for a motel maid, helping a brother get out of jail, and shooting off fireworks to do much thieving.

Say Anything (1989)

Rating: 3/5

Say Anything is a John Hughes-esque 1980s teen comedy written and directed by Cameron Crowe. Crowe’s films are hit and miss with me—his autobiographical film, Almost Famous (2000), played a big role in my decision to write criticism—but Say Anything is a weak attempt at the teen comedy genre. Crowe writes strong leads, which is clear by John Cusack’s performance here, but Crowe’s side characters are often weak and forgettable.

Sex, Lies, and Videotape (1989)

Rating: 4/5

Writer/director Steven Soderbergh takes the typical American view of sex and sexually and turns it on its head in Sex, Lies, and Videotape. An impotent man—who has a unique fetish of videotaping women talking about their sex lives—is viewed as strange by his former college friend and his wife—who appear normal to the outside world, but in reality are having sexual problems that are hindering their marriage and sanity. This film helped kick-start the flood of indie films in the 1990s and has become an indie classic in its own right.

Weekend at Bernie’s (1989)

Rating: 3/5

I’m 13 years late to the party with this one, but Weekend at Bernie’s was what I expected it to be—a lazy Sunday movie with enough laughs and crazy moments to keep me entertained, but not entertained enough to add it to my collection.

Cocoon (1985)

Rating: 4/5

Ron Howard could be called the poor man’s Speilberg, and that’s not an insult. His films are typically enjoyable, and Cocoon sits among the best of them. It’s good to see older actors getting work, even if they have to talk about boners to get it. I also enjoyed the lightheartedness of the film, while drama is present, it didn’t feel too tense. The 80s songs and references in the film diminish its timelessness, but it’s a good film regardless.

My Dinner with Andre (1981)

Rating: 3/5

[Full Disclosure: I feel asleep and missed part of this film, so don't put much faith in my rating.]

My Dinner with Andre is a film that is pretentious by its concept alone—a film of two men telling stories over dinner, where the viewer makes the movie in their mind. I appreciate this kind of experiment, and seeing Wallace Shawn (the “inconceivable!” guy from The Princess Bride (1987))  credited as co-star and co-writer was promising, but it failed to keep my attention (hence the falling asleep). When I awoke, the last 30 minutes of the film seemed more interesting than the first 30 or so minutes I saw. I need to watch this again with a few cinephile friends.

Supervixens (1975)

Rating: 4/5

One of Russ Meyer’s better efforts, Supervixens is about a man on the run, framed for murder, who meets a variety of beautiful large-breasted women along the way, all of which want nothing more than to bed this poor man while a crooked cop makes his life a living hell.

The Legend of Hell House (1973)

Rating: 4/5

The Legend of Hell House is one of the most overlooked and underrated haunted house films on record. Penned by the very skilful Richard Matheson—based on his novel Hell House—the screenplay for The Legend of Hell House keeps the spirit of the novel while cutting back on the debauchery. The camera is as much a character as the investigators sent to hell house to prove whether there is life after death. The film has its cheesy melodramatic moments, but it remains a favorite. Fans of Skinny Puppy’s 1985 release, Bites, will notice a number of samples lifted from this film.

Pink Flamingos (1972)

Rating: 4/5

What Pink Flamingos lacks in production value it more than makes up for in shock value. While considered a comedy, it’s a mistake to take John Waters’ masterpiece of trash lightly. Most people won’t laugh their first time through Waters’ bizarre world of the filthiest people alive. The laughs come when you show this film to your unsuspecting friends, but be sure you know someone well before exposing them to what cannot be unseen. I know, from personal experience, that the joys of shocking someone with Pink Flamingos can backfire on you. As a friend recently noted, “Pink Flamingos isn’t something you have shown to you, it’s something you have done to you.”

Bullitt (1968)

Rating: 3/5

Best known for its 10 minute high-speed car chase through the streets of San Francisco—and considered a Steve McQueen classic by many old-schoolers—Bullitt suffers from clunky pacing and confusing plot-lines which are less forgivable by modern audiences, myself included.

Double Indemnity (1944)

Rating: 5/5

Based on the novel by James M. Cain about an insurance salesman who kills the husband of the woman he loves (perhaps “lusts after” would be more appropriate), Double Indemnity shows what writer/director Billy Wilder can do with a great story.  Fred MacMurray and Barbara Stanwyck are great in their lead roles and handle the fast-pace witty dialogue with ease, but the real scene-stealer is Edward G. Robinson, as the fast-talking and quick-thinking Barton Keyes. The film breaks two rules—which serve the film well—there’s narration (which I typically enjoy in films anyway) and the beginning reveals the ending. Breaking rules like these, and still making a great film, is the sign of a truly great filmmaker.

January was a crazy month. It saw the end of CriticPlanet, the continuing of my wife’s pregnancy, the aftermath of the holidays, and coming to grips with the new year. The movie report has taken on different forms through the years and this year is no exception. Let me know how you like the new format and, if all goes well, I’ll continue with these capsule review movie reports. I look forward to your comments!

The Adjustment Bureau (2011)

Rating: 4/5

Some have compared The Adjustment Bureau to Alex Proyas’ 1998 effort, Dark City. While some similarities exist, this tale of mystery and paranoia follows a different path and, due to great onscreen chemistry between Matt Damon and Emily Blunt, the film proves itself to be worthy of a couple’s night in.

Another Earth (2011)

Rating: 2/5

Another Earth is a strange film. A girl, Rhoda (Brit Marling), leaves a party and crashes into a family sitting at an intersection, which puts the father into a coma and kills the wife and child. After serving a prison sentence she tracks down the father and poses as a worker for a house cleaning service. The father doesn’t recognize her because she was a minor at the time of the accident and her identity was never made public. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out where the story goes from there. Meanwhile, the titular Earth, known as Earth 2 is coming ever closer. I won’t delve into the specifics of Earth 2, but Rhoda enters to win a trip there in an effort to get away from her past. The film is boring, the characters are uninteresting, and Earth 2 serves almost as an deus ex machina that does little for the film until the last few seconds. Much like the insufferable Sucker Punch (2011), Another Earth would do well to be split into two films, one focusing on Rhoda and John’s (William Mapother) story and a second addressing all the ins, outs, and what-have-yous of Earth 2.

Barney’s Version (2011)

Rating: 4/5

I’ve been a fan of Paul Giamatti since I saw him play Howard Stern’s excitable boss in Private Parts (1997). Much like Philip Seymour Hoffman, Giamatti has proved himself as one of the few average guy types who can carry a picture just as good, if not better than, the usual Hollywood pretty boys. It’s easy to feel sorry for Giamatti as Barney, a TV producer who suffers through backstabbing wives, backstabbing friends, and even a murder charge. Barney’s Version is a difficult film to peg. The trailer is misleading and it wasn’t until the flood of positive reviews arrived that I was convinced I wanted to see it. Yes, the inclusion of Dustin Hoffman is a drawing point, but then again, he’s been in a few sub-par films in recent years. There is enough humor to get through the tough times and while the film is often bleak in its outlook there is a shimmer of hope encased within the films hard outer shell.

Contagion (2011)

Rating: 4/5

There have been enough pandemic movies to create a genre all its own, but with Contagion, director Steven Soderbergh and writer Scott Z. Burns have delivered an pandemic film that rivals the best of them, and instead of ending where I expected it to, Contagion charges on and explores events taking place after the credits have rolled on similar films. Much like a real worldwide pandemic, Contagion takes no prisoners and even its A-list cast isn’t safe. If you’re a germaphobe, keep a bottle of sanitizer nearby, you’ll need it.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)

Rating: 5/5

After a mishap in journalism leaves Mikael Blomkvist (Daniel Craig) broke and almost without a job, he is contacted by retired industrialist, Henrik Vanger (Christopher Plummer), to find the person who murdered his niece 40 years ago. During his research Mikael is paired up with Lisbeth Slander (Rooney Mara), the titular girl in question, to solve this 40 year mystery. With films like Se7en (1995), Fight Club (1999), and The Social Network (2010), on his resume, director David Fincher has proved himself a master of his craft, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo further cements this claim. The film looks great, which is no surprise since Jeff Cronenweth (Fight Club, The Social Network) is behind the camera. Also, Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross return, after churning out an Oscar winning score for The Social Network, with a stunning score that fits Fincher and Cronenweth’s imagery perfectly. In the midst of all this greatness, the real diamond in the rough is Rooney Mara, who delivers one of the greatest empowered female characters in cinematic history. The character of Lisbeth is played on a razors edge between bad-ass and victim. This isn’t Angela Jolie dodging bullets in a tight leather outfit, instead, Mara makes Lisbeth believable as a person who has suffered—and continues to suffer—at the hands of others while remaining strong and often fearless. My only criticism comes from the handling of the last 30 minutes or so of the film, I won’t go into it here, but you’ll know what I mean when you see it. It’s not a crippling problem, but it’s a rough patch in the films transition in the story line. Regardless, this is a must see and if I had seen it in December it would have ended up on my list of best films of 2011.

The Last Circus (2011)

Rating: 4/5

I like clowns, especially ones with weapons. The Last Circus is possibly the only film you’ll see that has two rival clowns fighting over the same woman in a battle that drives both men to the edge of sanity—and beyond—as they hack, claw, bite, and shoot their way to the woman they both desire. After seeing his father—who played the happy clown—become a POW, Javier sets out for a circus as the sad clown, because, as his father tells him, he’s seen too much sorrow and pain to be the happy clown, that is, unless he seeks revenge, only then can he truly embody the happy clown. At the circus, the happy clown is a dick who abuses his girlfriend and tells the ringmaster how to run things. The film is graphic and even daring at times in its content. There were several moments when I felt uneasy—something few films can pull off these days—which was a welcome reaction that made the film more effective. One of the few directors who can pull off this genuine quality of unease is Gaspar Noé, it appears that director Álex de la Iglesia possesses a similar talent in his style of film-making.

Paul (2011)

Rating: 4/5

While traveling to various sites of reported alien encounters across the US, two British sci-fi nerds (Simon Pegg and Nick Frost) encounter a real alien and assist him on his journey home. Despite having a good cast and director, I didn’t have much hope for Paul—In the trailer it looked too silly and obvious. While the film is silly—and yes, it is somewhat obvious—Paul is an enjoyable lighthearted comedy that pays tribute to a number of other films.

Rubber (2011)

Rating: 4/5

When I heard there was a movie about a tire that explodes people’s heads, I was both confused and intrigued. I wondered how the filmmakers were going to pull this off, and I expected the film to be little more than another exploitation film. I was surprised to find that Rubber not only works as a film, but it is much more than an exploitation film. The meta elements in Rubber are evident from its opening scene and continue to play a major role in the film. As a matter of fact, the head exploding tire is used to prove a deeper point about cinema and the way we view and think about film.

Steve Jobs: One Last Thing (2011)

Rating: 3/5

This serves as a good introduction to Steve Jobs and Apple, but if you’ve read Walter Isaacson’s biography on Steve Jobs, you won’t gain much insight here. For avid fans of all things Steve Jobs and Apple related, there are a few interesting interviews, so it’s worth checking out for those.

Super (2011)

Rating: 2/5

Much like Kick-Ass the year before, Super takes on the idea of a regular guy becoming a superhero vigilante, only with even less effectiveness. There are things to enjoy about Super, but they are too few and scattered throughout the film. The acting isn’t an issue, but the characters felt thin and under developed. The fact that writer/director James Gunn saw fit to make Rain Wilson’s character a religious conservative only served to hold his character back. Ellen Page is a delight as Wilson’s sidekick, however, again, more time should have been spent on her character. The movie doesn’t know what it’s trying to be, it’s too depressing and disturbing to be a comedy and the levels of gory violence are a tell-tale reminder of Gunn’s Troma background, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it makes the film feel like it’s only a few steps above Troma production values, while it’s a few steps below in its enjoyment. There are great moments, like when Wilson starts bashing criminals in the face with a pipe wrench, or when Page is getting a feel for being a superhero and almost kills a guy in a moment of ecstatic vengence.

Tabloid (2011)

Rating: 4/5

The compelling story from the 1970s of Joyce McKinney, the ex-beauty queen who kidnapped the man she loved and believed he was brainwashed by Mormons. While McKinney’s tale is a great subject for a documentary, this film suffers because the love interest, Ken Anderson, was not willing to be interviewed and McKinney’s partner in crime, Keith May, died in 2004 of kidney failure. Despite these setbacks, Tabloid still manages to hold interest and even provides a curve ball near the end about McKinney and her dog, Booger.

Four Lions (2010)

Rating: 2/5

The story of four potential terrorist in the UK who can’t do anything right and end up being a greater danger to themselves than to the people they wish to terrorize isn’t as good as it sounds. While I like the idea of Four Lions—using a comedy vehicle to poke fun at terrorists and see them as regular people with doubts and fears—the film fails to entertain beyond a few chuckles. Full of explosive potential, Four Lions is a dud.

The King’s Speech (2010)

Rating: 5/5

Call it Oscar bait if you will, but The King’s Speech is still a great film. Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush are in top form as they act out the tale of a stuttering king and his unorthodox speech therapist. The film is emotional, entertaining, and educational.

The Losers (2010)

Rating: 4/5

Set your suspension of disbelief to 11 as you enter The Losers. In the vein of Jonah Hex (2010) and Piranha (2010), The Losers isn’t meant to be taken seriously—it doesn’t even take itself seriously. From its wise cracking villain—you’ll never believe it’s Michael from The Lost Boys (1987)—to its beyond ridiculous explosions and lack of bullets making contact, The Losers isn’t even a popcorn chomper, it’s a laugh out loud riot. I could tell you it’s about some military guys who attempt to abort a mission but are instead framed by some super-villain, which leaves everyone convinced they’re dead. I could also mention the ridiculously too thin hot chick wants to help the guys get revenge on Max, the super-villain, however, all that is boring. All you need to know is Chris Evans is hilarious and Michael is no longer hanging out with vampires, although, he might as well be one in this film.

Love and Other Drugs (2010)

Rating: 3/5

Love and Other Drugs is one of those films that is mostly good, but has enough bad mixed in that it can’t be fully recommended. Jamie Randall (Jake Gyllenhaal) is a drug rep. for a big pharmaceuticals company, and one day while peddling his wares at a local hospital he meets, you guessed it, the love of his life in the form of Maggie Murdock (Anne Hathaway), a sexy young woman who has first stage Parkinson’s. The love story follows many of the patterns common to this type of romantic comedy, and while the on screen chemistry between Gyllenhall and Hathaway isn’t the best I’ve seen, it’s believable. The film has a few gold nuggets to offer, the most notable one is Hathaway’s nude scenes, a little less notable is the great performance from Josh Gad as Gyllenhall’s brother. Following in the footsteps of the many “fat funny guys” who have come before him, Gad puts on a show that makes the bloated two-hour run time a little easier to swallow.

You Again (2010)

Rating: 1/5

[Full Disclosure: I missed the first 20 minutes or so of this travesty of a paycheck movie because I was in the shower when my wife started it, I'm including it in my report because I don't feel like I missed much and I wanted to warn others to avoid this movie at all costs! P.S. My wife also thought it sucked.]

Basically, Kristen Bell’s character was bullied in school by Odetta Annable’s (formerly Odetta Yustman) character, and, oh, terror of all terrors, Bell’s brother is marrying the wench! What will she ever do!?!?! This movie sucks enough on its own, but it gets even worse with the inclusion of Jamie Lee Curtis and Sigourney Weaver as the respective mothers. Even Betty White couldn’t save this turd. The jokes are not funny and this is the worst paycheck movie I’ve seen in a while, and I just saw It’s Complicated!

You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010)

Rating: 3/5

I’m an unapologetic Woody Allen’s fan. I like nearly all of his films, and love many of them. I admit my tendency to be biased when it comes to Mr. Allen’s films, but I do my best to be honest as that is what helps you, the reader, make the best possible selection when it comes to your viewing pleasure. While I found most of Stranger to be entertaining—I really enjoyed the plot twists—the film began to falter in the third act. The characters were all breaking down into tirades that I found more annoying than interesting and the end of the film leaves so many loose ends—albeit purposely so—that the film turns into spaghetti by its conclusion. I’m not saying you shouldn’t watch the film, after all, most of it was enjoyable, but go into it with a word of caution and don’t expect it to make it into your top 10 Woody Allen films.

It’s Complicated (2009)

Rating: 1/5

Instead of writing a capsule review I’m leaving you with the notes I took during this horrific turd. Enjoy!

At first I wondered, why is John Krasinski in this film? His first few appearances are painful to watch, but later, when his character has something to do other than smile and look awkward, he becomes the best thing about the film. It’s a paycheck movie, we’ve seen it before, and this time there’s nothing interesting. Upper class white people problems, wake me when it’s over, how the hell will I ever relate to these people. I’ve seen less head wiggling from a wall of bobble-heads. This is a crappy version of Something’s Gotta Give (2003) [also directed by Nancy Meyers]. If you wish to die from alcohol poisoning before this two hours of pain ends, take a shot every time Meryl Streep takes off her glasses. Steve Martin hasn’t been funny for a while, he’s no exception here. Frazzled giddy women struggling to keep it together annoy me. Everyone with the last name of Adler in this film needs a slap in the face. I want my two hours back.

Southland Tales (2006)

Rating:4/5

Some people have referred to Sucker Punch (2010) as a train wreck that they still managed to enjoy. While I believe that only the first part of this is accurate for Sucker Punch, I can say that I share this sentiment for Richard Kelly’s Southland Tales. It has a great cast and I enjoy Kelly’s apocalyptic time travel movie that has Mandy Moore saying, “Cockchuggers 2?!”, but it feels like something went wrong along the way. Regardless, watch it for the great cast and maybe you’ll come away with a better understanding of the film. If you do, please elaborate in the comments section.

Cruel Intentions (1999)

Rating: 4/5

If you told me there was a good drama/romance/thriller from the 1990s starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, and Reese Witherspoon, I would immediately question your judgement, and your knowledge of my taste in film, however, my wife did just that and convinced me to sit down and give Cruel Intentions a chance. Based on the French novel, Les Liaisons dangereuses (The Dangerous Liaisons), I’m told that Cruel Intentions is The Dangerous Liaisons lite for a teenage audience. The characters are all exaggerated, but not to the point of annoyance, it brings the film closer to theater acting and works well with the subject matter. Selma Blair is one of the most underrated actresses in Hollywood, you have to see her in other roles to truly appreciate her overselling as the goofy Cecile.

Office Space (1999)

Rating: 5/5

For someone who hasn’t had a middle-class job in years, Mike Judge has his finger on the pulse of middle-class life in the workplace. I’ve never seen a more accurate, or hilarious, portrayal of life as a middle class working stiff. Office Space rivals Airplane! (1980) and Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1974) in its entertainment and quotability from start to finish.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)

Rating: 5/5

This film is what turned me on to the life and writings of Hunter S. Thompson, the father of gonzo journalism and one of the greatest writers of our time. Terry Gilliam, Johnny Depp, Benicio Del Toro, and everyone else involved, come together to not only produce a great film, but a film that is as accurate a visualization of Thompson’s autobiographical novel as anyone is ever going to get. The film is relentless, aggressive, and in your face to the point that you have to fight against your brain as it tries desperately to get you to leave this terrible place. But for those who see it through the reward is great.

Return to Savage Beach (1998)

Rating: 3/5

If you have a taste for exploitation films, I highly recommend the films of the late Andy Sidaris. The man knew how to do one thing and do it well. He managed to bring into this world a collection of 12 films that are all basically the same film with a few tweaks and enough casting  and character changes to drive the most faithful film scholar mad. Return to Savage Beach signifies the end of a film career spanning over 10 years. This film contains what might be the most bizarre ending to any of Sidaris’ films, but don’t let that worry you, everything else is in place, guns, sexy secret agents, jacuzzi’s, confusing plot lines, Rodrigo Obregón, remote control vehicles strapped with bombs, hunky dudes, and most importantly, sexy topless women.

Good Will Hunting (1997)

Rating: 5/5

It’s difficult to go wrong with a film like Good Will Hunting. It has a cast and crew of people who have impressed me through the years and an insightful story that digs deep into what makes us who we are. On the surface the story is about Matt Damon’s character, but Robin Williams is the one who truly shines here. I don’t often give weight to Oscar wins and nominations, but Good Will Hunting won two Oscars (screenplay, supporting actor) and was nominated for seven more.

Day of the Warrior (1996)

Rating: 3/5

Day of the Warrior is Andy Sidaris’ next to last film and basically all you need to know about it is included in my capsule review of Return to Savage Beach.

Army of Darkness (1992)

Rating: 5/5

Sam Raimi’s classic finale to his Evil Dead trilogy, Army of Darkness is more campy than the previous films in the trilogy, but stands up against the other films as a worthy end to the series. Initially I saw the trilogy in reverse order, which really didn’t hinder my viewing experience, as each film is able to stand alone.

Barton Fink (1991)

Rating: 5/5

I have a habit of selecting difficult and perplexing films for Mancave Mondays, but so far, all of my selections have received a positive response. Barton Fink is an odd duck of a film that spends most of its time traveling in one direction, only to present a twist in the third act that gives the film a boost into greatness. John Turturro and John Goodman are never better than they are here in this odd couple buddy movie. The story of a struggling writer in Hollywood who lives in a hotel next to Goodman’s “common man” is specific enough to hold your attention, but vague enough to keep you thinking about the film long after the end credits.

Miller’s Crossing (1990)

Rating: 4/5

Another Mancave Monday selection, Miller’s Crossing isn’t part of my list of essential Coen Brothers films, but I do recommend it for fans of the gangster/film noir genres. I’ve seen the film four or five times to date and while I always enjoy it, it feels like there is a key element absent from the film, but I’ve never been able to single it out. The complexity of the plot and fast-pace witty dialogue make it difficult to catch everything the first time through, which makes repeat viewings rewarding, which is common of the Coen’s work.

Raising Arizona (1987)

Rating: 5/5

The Coen Bros. second film is much more comedic than their crime thriller debut, Blood Simple, however, the Coens know how to balance a film, even when it’s heavy on the comedy, because really, all of their films are crime capers, some are more crime, while others—like Raising Arizona—are more caper. This tale of a husband and wife who are unable to have a child of their own—and decide to take one from a family that has “more than they can handle”—is both comedic and touching. This is a must see for anyone who has kids or is thinking about having them.

Blood Simple. (1984)

Rating: 5/5

The Coen Bros. debut film about crime, betrayal, and murder in the open lands of Texas, is one of the most powerful and entertaining debuts from any directors working today. M. Emmet Walsh is fantastic in his yellow suit as a private eye who also does work that’s “not exactly legal” if “the price is right”.

Rating: 4/5

Every once in a while a short film comes along showcasing the talents of someone who truly understands the medium in which they work. This is the case with Grzegorz Cisiecki’s short film, Smoke (original title: Dym).

Smoke does not have a narrative per se, Cisiecki describes the film as “the story of the person who became the captive of surrealistic madness” and while I’ve read a couple of interpretations of the film, I’m not going to tackle one here. The film lacks dialog, but this is not a hindrance, as the film unfolds it’s easy to get sucked in by the surreal images that are carefully moved along by the score provided by Aleksandr Porach and Rashid Brocca.

It’s safe to say that the works of surrealist director David Lynch are an influence to Cisiecki. The overall tone of the film is very much in the style of Lynch, from the characters, to the sets and the music, but with the help of cinematographer Dawid Rymar, Cisiecki lends his own vision to these surreal moments. Cisiecki is certainly an up and coming director to watch out for. More could be said about Smoke, but I think it’s best to jump right into this seven minutes of surrealism.

Director: Grzegorz Cisiecki
Writer: Grzegorz Cisiecki
Cast: Katarzyna Dalek, Grzegorz Golaszewski, Hubert Jarczak
Runtime: 7 minutes
Country: Poland

Many of the worlds greatest creations have been foretold by science fiction. Everything from submarines to space travel have been predicted by these prophets of sci-fi, but few writers have reached the level of propheticness as Arthur C. Clarke and Stanley Kubrick in 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Loosely based on two of Clarke’s short stories, 2001: A Space Odyssey was written by Clarke and Kubrick in 1968 simultaneously in book and script form, respectively. Despite a few variations, the film and book both tell the same story and make the same predictions about man’s future in regard to technological. While some of these predictions are a little off from what we have today (think: videophone sequence) others (like, manned space travel to Jupiter) remain outside our grasp. 2001: A Space Odyssey did more than change cinema, it set the stage for events that would change our lives.

Glass Cockpit Displays

The glass cockpit (an update from analog gauges and dials to digital screens and readouts) that is shown in 2001: A Space Odyssey didn’t come become a reality until the release of the MD-80 over 10 years later in 1979.

iPad (Tablets)

So, you thought Steve Jobs developed the iPad? As much as I admire Jobs and his contributions to technology and society, Kubrick was over 40 years ahead of him in regard to the iPad. During the Jupiter mission, the two doctors/astronauts aboard the ship can been seen using electronic tablets that look suspiciously similar to Apple’s iPad.

PTV (Personal Televisions)

In 1968 in-flight PTVs were only a fantasy, it wasn’t until several years later that passengers could ignore the in-flight movie to watch what they chose on back of the seat in front of them.

Lip-Reading Computers

One of the most recent developments to arise from predictions found in 2001: A Space Odyssey is computers with the ability to read lips. In 2009 it was announced that not only can this software read lips, it can read them in several languages.

Moon Landing

Many films and books predicted man traveling to the Moon, but 2001: A Space Odyssey is one of the more memorable films to depict events taking place on the lunar surface.

Robotics in Space

Robotics have been a major player in the world of manufacturing for many years, but it wasn’t until 1981 that NASA used the first robotic arm in space for the unloading of spacecraft’s payload.

Skype (Videophone)

It’s easy to laugh at the archaic videophone sequence in 2001: A Space Odyssey, but the important thing to take away from it is the prediction of video communications, such as Skype, which is now commonplace.

Space Station

Although Kubrick’s vision of the space station is a little off base, this prediction came into existence in 1971 with the launch of Saylut 1. Since then, several space stations have come and gone, but it remains a staple of space travel and exploration.

Space Tourism

While still not commonplace, space tourism is a reality. Astronauts had been shot into space before the release of 2001: A Space Odyssey, but space tourism by business personnel didn’t come along until the 1980s.

Suspended Animation

Suspended animation is still in the experimental stages, but the FDA recently approved its usage for medical purposes which allow a patients heart and breathing to be slowed in order to perform emergency surgeries that would not be possible otherwise.

Rating: 2/5

In a world where taking chances and cutting corners is the norm, The Nocturnal Third takes the viewer on a journey into a night where these norms result in disaster. A young and nervous newlywed whose in debt, an injured worker refusing medical attention, and a wondering stranger, come together for a night of uncertainty, danger, and deceit.

Eli Gottfried (Kevin Maggard) has the typical lower-middle class life; recently married, car in the shop, and deep in debt. He has a typical factory job at Stafford Stoneworks, and needs to take on extra hours on the night shift to keep afloat financially. Luckily, there’s a big job that needs done and Eli gets the hours he needs. Things seem good until he shows up and finds Harold Barks (Wescott Youngson), a middle-aged bearded man with no patience for the younger generation, already toiling away at the job.

Things get much worse when Harold severely injures his hand and refuses medical attention for fear of losing his job. As Harold sits with a badly wounded hand, Jeffrey (Luke Weaver) appears on the scene, claiming he needs to use the phone since his vehicle broke down. Jeffrey’s appearance is suspicious from the start, but Eli tolerates him, even when his sense of humor goes a little too far.

Like most low budget indie films, The Nocturnal Third‘s strongest point is its cinematography. I believe this is due in part to the ease of getting better quality and affordable equipment. As for this film in particular, it also helps that the cinematographer, Stephen Martel Lucas, has several short film credits to his name. The acting is on par with most beginner films, but Luke Weaver stands out as the one with the most spark.

What hurts The Nocturnal Third the most is the writing. With a screenplay, everything rides on story, dialog is secondary to story, and it seems that Stark had a loose premise for a story and hoped to fill in the gaps with dialog. Sadly, this doesn’t work and leads to long scenes where the story stagnates. A tighter story with less dialog would helped the most.

While The Nocturnal Third has its shortcomings, I wouldn’t write off anyone involved. There are people on both sides of the camera here that could go on to do great things, they just need more experience and a tighter focus.

Director: Benjamin Stark

Writer: Benjamin Stark

Cast: Kevin Maggard, Luke Weaver, Wescott Youngson

Country: USA

Rating: 4/5

“On June 6, 1808, the aim of Napoleon Bonaparte’s invincible army was to destroy the Spanish army’s gunpowder store and so control the whole of Europe. With only 25km to its objective, the Grande Armée, for the first time in its history knew the bitter taste of defeat in the Sacred Mountain of Montserrat. A defeat that encouraged all the oppressed peoples to fight for freedom.”

These opening words from Bruc, the Manhunt (original title: Bruc. La Ilegenda; also known as Legend of the Soldier) successfully set the stage for this entertaining film about the legend of Bruc the drummer. According to the legend, Napoleon’s army retreated when a lone soldier, Bruc, took up the drum of a fallen soldier and began beating on it. The sound of the drum echoed off the mountains and fooled the French army into thinking there were hundreds of soldiers coming over the mountains.

The film begins directly after the event that made Bruc (Juan José Ballesta) a legend. Instead of focusing on the event itself, the filmmakers dive into the resulting pursuit of Bruc by one of Napoleons Captains, Maraval (Vincent Perez), and his gang of ruffians, with orders from Napoleon to bring back the head of Bruc.

Meanwhile, Bruc’s father wants a better life for his son and intends to give him money to start his own business, so Bruc’s fianceé, Gloria (Astrid Bergès-Frisbey), can marry a husband who is better off than his father is as a coal man. Not only is Gloria a sight to behold, but she also plays an integral part in the story of Bruc, the Manhunt, especially once she gets kidnapped by Maraval and his gang, with the intention of forcing Bruc to surrender. The French journalist, Magne (Justin Blanckaert), also plays a pivotal role in the film.

It can be argued that Bruc, the Manhunt is little more than a man-on-the-run picture, with a twist of revenge. I won’t argue with this, but despite the simplicity of the plot, the story is well written, the characters are entertaining, and the film has a few tricks up its sleeve.

It’s easy to care about Bruc, his bride to be, and the innocent townsfolk who are being slaughtered, as Maraval and his men chase Bruc through the forests and eventually into the mountains where the original battle took place. Things get especially tense in the third act when Bruc goes full-on mountain warrior and pulls off a series of feats while offing his rivals one by one.

The film looks great and it’s well acted. I’m on the fence about a shaky cam technique used during the battle flashback sequences, but otherwise, the films shows the talents of an experienced cast and crew.

The DVD extras include a interesting 30 minute making of featurette that shows the various filming locations (one of which was the caves of Collbató, which are located on the southern slopes of Montserrat), the genesis of the project, cast and crew interviews, and other information.

Director: Daniel Benmayor

Writer: Patxi Amezcua, Jordi Gasull, José Luis Latasa

Cast: Juan José Ballesta, Vincent Perez, Astrid Bergès-Frisbey

Country: Spain

The 1980s brought with it many things, but during the Halloween season we choose to remember the slew of horror films, both good and bad, that came to the big screen and into our lives. Growing up in the 80s was both great and terrifying; these repressed fears and frustrations came out in the form of gory and bizarre horror films that spanned the spectrum of the genre. After reading through this chronological list of 1980s horror films that influenced cinema and pop culture it’s little wonder that my generation is off kilter.

Friday the 13th (1980)

Although it was inspired by John Carpenter’s 1978 slasher film, Halloween, Friday the 13th took things a step further and made a gruesome full-on slasher film that turned off critics and turned on audiences. It went on to become one of the most successful slasher films in history. The success of Friday the 13th and Halloween has led to a long line of imitators. With 12 films so far in the cannon Friday the 13th remains one of the longest running horror franchises. Even Jason’s hockey mask (which didn’t come onto the scene until Friday the 13th Part III in 1982) has become an easily recognizable symbol in pop culture.

The Shining (1980)

“Here’s Johnny!”

The fact that more people know that phrase from Jack Nicholson’s brilliant performance as Jack Torrance in The Shining than from it’s origin on The Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson is a testament to the influence The Shining has had on pop culture and film in general. Stephen King’s displeasure with director Stanley Kubrick’s vision of his novel is well documented, but there’s no denying that, on its own, Kubrick’s film is brilliant and holds up as a horror classic. An in depth analysis of the film reveals the hand of master director at work. It’s been said that Jack Nicholson knows exactly what to do with a prop, and this has never been truer than when he’s wielding an axe in The Shining.

The Evil Dead (1981)

Sam Raimi’s experimental shooting and directing style in The Evil Dead has been copied and referenced in many films since. One of his more memorable technical contributions is the demon POV camera technique which is basically two guys running with a camera mounted on a 2×4. The Evil Dead’s real claim to fame, however, is its invasion into pop culture with a slew of catchphrases, most of which are uttered by the unlikely hero, Ash. Bruce Campbell would go on the reprise his role as Ash in two Evil Dead sequels, Evil Dead II (1987) and Army of Darkness (1992), which have rooted themselves even deeper into pop culture.

An American Werewolf in London (1981)

An American Werewolf in London is significant for several reasons, not only is it a great example of combining horror and comedy, but Rick Baker’s creature makeup and special effects set the bar so high that it necessitated the creation of a new category at the Oscars; Outstanding Achievement in Makeup. However, the films’ influence reaches beyond makeup and effects. Seeing An American Werewolf in London convinced Michael Jackson that he needed John Landis to direct his classic video, Thriller; and we can also thank An American Werewolf in London for bringing us one of my favorite directors, Edgar Wright. In Robert K. Elder’s book, The Film That Changed My Life: 30 Directors on Their Epiphanies in the Dark, Wright reveals that this film is why he became a director.

Poltergeist (1982)

The ultimate ghost movie, many believe Poltergeist is cursed, and while there’s a list of untimely deaths to back up that idea, the film also managed to make kids creepy and forever change the way we say “They’re here.” Poltergeist has also made a dent in the pop culture landscape, as is evident from parodies and tributes in The Simpsons, South Park, Family Guy, and even American Dad!

Gremlins (1984)

A few “small monsters” films were in production the same time as Gremlins, but Gremlins is the one that everyone remembers and it’s also responsible for dozens of lesser imitators. Gremlins was an instant classic and its oh-so merchandisable characters gave it a lasting impression on pop culture (I bet you can still remember the three rules of the Mogwai). One of Gremlins’ claims to fame is that it can also double as a Christmas film as it is set during the holiday season. Imagine the response if you tried showing it at your next family Christmas.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

Freddy Krueger is one of the most recognizable figures in pop culture. While I’ll be forever grateful to the film, and director Wes Craven, for introducing the world to Johnny Depp, A Nightmare on Elm Street also maintains a tight grasp on horror fans (many of which were afraid to fall asleep after spending two hours in the dark watching Freddy) and although A Nightmare on Elm Street contains many horror film clichés, it managed to create just as many imitators as it had imitated itself. With nine films so far in the franchise, it’s not far behind Friday the 13th as one of the longest running and most successful horror franchises of all time.

The Lost Boys (1987)

Possibly the most influential vampire films since Dracula (1931), The Lost Boys brought to pop culture several aspects of vampire lore that were little seen in previous films. These vampires mingled among modern day humans and were hip teens. The next time you watch The Lost Boys notice how much of it has been borrowed in vampire films and television series since. In addition to bringing Keifer Sutherland, who was virtually unknown at the time, to the attention of audiences, The Lost Boys was also one of the Corey’s (Corey Feldman & Corey Haim) most popular screen appearances. Lastly, the film also boasts one of the greatest theme songs of the 1980s, Cry Little Sister by Gerard McMahon.

Hellraiser (1987)

Hellraiser was most filmgoer’s introduction to the work of horror writer, Clive Barker. The unique soul-torturing villainous Cenobites intrigued moviegoers with their mix of a gothic-alien appearance and disturbing levels of torturous violence that also paved the way for future big-budget films in the torture-porn sub-genre.

Child’s Play (1988)

Chucky wasn’t the first killer doll to hit the big screen, but he’s certainly the most memorable. This knife wielding half-pint scared the hell out of kids everywhere. Some people believe Chucky was inspired by the My Buddy doll, which was poplar at the time, but Hasbro’s That Kid doll from the 1960s may have had a bigger hand in Chucky’s creation. Either way, Chucky forever changed the market for My Buddy dolls and cemented dolls as creepy in the minds of a generation.

Bonus Film!

Children of the Corn (1984)

While most horror films prey on universal fears, Children of the Corn, based on one of Stephen King’s novels, sought out very specific fear in a very specific location. Growing up in the American Midwest, I can assure you that every kid who lived near a cornfield was afraid to leave there house at night. Part of what made Children of the Corn so effective was that the kids weren’t from another planet, or even possessed, they were simply a religious cult that could not be reasoned with.